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spinthemoon

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Step away from the jar [Jul. 6th, 2004|09:05 pm]
spinthemoon
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This weekend, I discovered a very bad thing. I don't know how I missed it all these years. It's not like I hadn't heard of it. It's not like I hadn't seen it. But I had just walked past it as if it were of no consequence. Until now.

I don't know what drew my eye towards it as I walked past. I don't know what impulse caused me to retrace my steps. I don't know why I did it. But I did. My arm reached out as of its own accord, plucked the jar off the shelf, and tossed it into my basket.

If that had been the end of it, everything would be fine. But that was only the beginning. I got home and unpacked the jar. I walked to the pantry to put it away. Instead, I got down the graham crackers, pulled a knife from the drawer. I opened the jar. And there it was. Nutella.

What twisted mind dreamed up this fiendish concoction? Hazelnuts. Chocolate. Enough sugar to choke a horse. Blended into a smooth, creamy spread that calls to me with its siren song long past the time when I should be snacking. Bananas nestle in it. Peanut butter dances with it on my cracker. It clings sensuously to the finger I trail oh-so-lightly across its sleek dark surface.

My only hope is to finish the jar as quickly as possible, to remove the temptation. Wish me luck.

LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: sphyr
2004-07-06 08:08 pm (UTC)
Hurry and finish the jar before you go shopping again.

Unless .... you don't suppose there's another jar at the supermarket?
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[User Picture]From: spinthemoon
2004-07-07 04:30 am (UTC)
I'm doomed.
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From: (Anonymous)
2004-07-08 02:56 pm (UTC)
Here's a link to a ton of nutella recipes, http://www.recipegoldmine.com/nutella/nutella.html, in case you tire of eating it with a spoon. Or another jar jumps in your cart.
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[User Picture]From: spinthemoon
2004-07-08 06:11 pm (UTC)
Confess. The Nutella people sent you, didn't they?
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From: (Anonymous)
2004-07-09 08:43 am (UTC)

I have a jar sitting in my cupboard

It calls to me, but I've eaten enough that, believe it or not, I don't want anymore. I think that is the trick. I've only bought it the one time, too...never again!!

Nicola (mumontherun)
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[User Picture]From: sphyr
2004-07-09 01:20 pm (UTC)
Perhaps it'll be more cost-effective to order it by the case.
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From: (Anonymous)
2004-07-12 07:43 am (UTC)

Getting One's...Cookies

This delicious and delectable spread can also be found STUFFED inside a cylindrical shaped almond/ammaretto flavored cookie and goes great with a double foam latte'. And I refuse to say anything Freudian about it, either.
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[User Picture]From: spinthemoon
2004-07-16 05:24 am (UTC)

Re: Getting One's...Cookies

(sticks fingers in ears) La La La La La La La
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From: (Anonymous)
2004-07-31 08:56 am (UTC)

Re: Getting One's...Cookies

Speaking of La La La-ing, that reminds me of Bert and Ernie on "Sesame Street", doing the "L" Song. Bert's lyrics were truly, ah, "unique":

"La, la, la, la, lemons,"
"La, la, la, la, lightbulb,"
"La, la, la, la, lamppost,"
"La, la, la, la--LUMP, in my oatmeal!!!"

I think Bert was somewhat lyrically challenged at the time. (I can remember this when I can't remember all the types of schizophrenia and I was a Psych major in college. Go fig.)

Of course, I also stayed up to watch Charles & Diana get hitched instead of studying for a Poly Sci exam. And what a bum decision THAT turned out to be--yes, both, thank you. Ah, my misspent youth.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: sphyr
2004-09-09 12:30 pm (UTC)
As of last night, I have tried Nutella.

And found it wanting.

Bah.
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