Instead of my usual monthly Firefly plug, I'll just quote Mal and say, "How come the plan never goes smooth?"
I already posted about my tried-to-run-errands-but-it-went-all-wonky day last week. That was just the beginning. Remember how I said one of my errands was to pick up some hardware I had special ordered? (OK, humor me. Pretend you were paying attention)
Well, that hardware was actually the second delivery. It was the second delivery because I miscounted when I placed the original order. Twice. When I picked up the first order, I brought the hardware home and ripped open the bags, eager to turn my drab, ordinary kitchen into something out of House Beautiful. Or at least as close to something out of House Beautiful a kitchen with bright yellow marbled linoleum counters can get. I should mention at this point that when I picked out this hardware, it was displayed already mounted.
Why should I mention that? Because much to my chagrin, when I saw the hardware in it's natural unmounted state for the first time, I discovered that the handles had flanges which needed to be counter-sunk. Which means I couldn't simply unscrew the old handles and screw in the new ones. I needed a drill to enlarge the existing holes.
Do I have a drill? No, I do not. I do have a brand new electric screwdriver, which I bought specifically for this project, thinking that unscrewing and screwing forty some-odd screws would pretty much end the use of my right arm forever. For ten bucks more, I could have gotten a small drill, but I figured, That would be a waste of money. I never use drills.
My brother-in-law has a drill. It took a few weeks to arrange the handoff, but this past weekend I finally had drill in hand and was ready to mount my new hardware. I had all the hardware I had ordered, and a drill. In the house at the same time. At a time when I had time to do it. Whoo Hoo! I drilled the holes, and tried to set the first handle. Notice the word tried. It seems that even though the distance between the holes is exactly the same on the old and the new handles, the flanges on the new handles are slightly offset. Which required re-drilling all the holes I had just drilled. I notice this is not going very quickly. Sure enough, I get less than half of the holes re-drilled and the drill dies. Dead battery.
I could go on, but the tale just grows more sordid and pathetic. On the upside, I finished the job tonight. Sort of. I was encouraged to realize that installing the drawer pulls didn't require any drilling. This will be a snap, I thought. How silly of me. Because it seems that the screws for the old drawer pulls on one set of drawers were counter-sunk from the back, and the new handles don't need to be counter-sunk, so I need shorter screws.
Sigh. Some day the plan will go smooth.