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Is it good to be bad? [May. 2nd, 2007|10:17 pm]

First of all, to all my friends with myspace pages - I am not ignoring you. Myspace is all wonky and I can't get logged in to leave comments. Your posts are funny and brilliant and I'm not just saying that because you stole my surveys, thereby allowing me to believe that imitation is, indeed, the sincerest form of flattery. Even though your answers were all much more interesting/clever than mine, meaning that next time I post a survey and it asks, "What annoys you?" I can answer, "Friends who answer my surveys better than I do."

OK, now that I've gotten that out of the way, on with the post...

I'm always fascinated by coincidence. It never ceases to amaze me how the same topic can appear in two very different places at the same time. 

Earlier this week, I clicked on a link over at Whedonesque to see James Marsters say a few words about his time on Buffy. The interviewer asked what about Spike struck a chord with the viewers and made him such a popular character. And he replied something along the lines of, "The lie of it. People like to think that a bad boy can be good to his girlfriend. But bad boys aren't good to their girlfriends, because they're bad."

The very next day, someone on Banshees posted a very fine pic of Robert Downey Jr, and several people commented how they found his "bad boy" days very sexy.

And I'm sorry, but WTF? There is nothing sexy about bad. (Although there is much sexy about RDJ) Bad is just...bad. 

The allure of the bad boy is simply this: the need to feel special. Because if you love the bad boys, it's because being with a bad boy means one of these things

1) I am so special that my love will change him and make him be good
2) I am so special that even though he is bad, he will be good to me
3) I am so special that only I can see that he isn't really bad

And none of this is true. If you are with a really bad boy, he is not being good to you. He just hasn't been bad to you yet.

Can bad boys grow up to be good men? Sure. But that doesn't mean they were good when they were bad.

Let's hear it for the good guys!

[User Picture]From: causedujour
2007-05-03 03:17 pm (UTC)
but but but you forgot one, the main reason for my own attraction to the "bad boys"....

4. My own life is so structured and controlled and inhibited that my inner rebel longs for the freedom that the bad boy offers.


(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: spinthemoon
2007-05-05 01:36 pm (UTC)
Yeah, well - you're weird.

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From: misty_bay
2007-05-04 03:25 am (UTC)

Thank you for not ignoring me.

It has been acting kerflunky lately.

I'll take Number 1 for 500.00. The same girl who brought home the bad boys, now bring homes the snarky cat's hoping to tame them, the mangy dogs, fix, fix fix.

Thank God I left my idylic notions back in the 80's, and no longer attempt to turn every hard-core-punk-ass into Mr. Dreamy.

Good guys fit who I am now. I don't have the energy to fix everyone anymore.

Kudo's to the good guys.

(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: spinthemoon
2007-05-05 01:36 pm (UTC)

Re: Thank you for not ignoring me.

Maybe that's why I never went for the bad boys. I'm too lazy!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From: (Anonymous)
2007-05-04 06:47 am (UTC)
I absolutely agree with your take on the bad boys!

And it's funny you should mention this because I was just having a bad boy v. good boy discussion with Cassandra. She likes the bad boys; I never did get the appeal myself. Too much drama. Too much nonsense. Too much work. Why do I need to spend time and effort trying to win a guy every day? Forget it! I'm the prize here, pal. :)

Oh, I had my share of idiots but they weren't bad boys; stupid boys, self-centered boys, PITA boys...but bad? Nope.

(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: spinthemoon
2007-05-05 01:39 pm (UTC)
Drama! Yes! I am absolutely in the Low-drama category.
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